Maxine - one last tribute...

Maxine, November 1 1996 - May 25, 2011 
I'm adjusting to life without Maxine. I have so many regrets. I wish I could have been a better Mom to her. If I could do things over again, I would. I did the best I could given the information I had. But hindsight is 20/20.

I feel like she is at rest and peaceful with Heavenly Father. It's just too bad that dogs don't live forever in happiness and health... well, they do - just on the other side... hopefully, when I return to Heavenly Father, I can see Maxine again and maybe dogs and humans can communicate is some special way, I'd like her to know that I loved her the best that I could...

I know a dog is not a person, but she sure was a good friend to me for so many years.

If... or when I ever get a dog again, I will treat my dog a lot better. I wanted to take her to the vet for yearly check ups but when she was 10 years old we were advised not to do that. To just let her be and then she can get sick sooner and die sooner.

I wouldn't do that again. I would rather take her to the vet for yearly check ups. And provide the best care possible. Had I done that I think she would have lived a more comfortable life. Like as soon as she started to go blind - had I reacted sooner, maybe I could have got some eye surgery for her to see better. I don't know how much that all costs, but it's cheaper than people care - I've heard.

 It's hard because Mark didn't want to spend much money providing care for her - so what was I to do?

As we had more and more kids It was also hard for me to pay as much attention to her. I love my kids more than my dog. Not to say I didn't love her, of course I did - it's just different.

So, when I get a dog again... in the future... it will be when the kids are grown and when I feel like I want a "baby" to love again - and dote on - that's when I'll have a dog.

Also, thanks everyone for your kind words. Thanks to my friends that called to talk to me about it. It's only been one day, but I feel better and better.

It also gets easier that I have to be tough about it and explain to the kids that she's in Heaven. It makes me want to get that movie All Dogs go to Heaven.

And prayer has helped me through this trial as well.

It's just so weird coming down stairs to and empty kitchen and no more dog bowls by the sink. No dog to let out. I dunno... it's just empty feeling.











Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The cook book for your toddler - Het kookboek voor je peuter

Image
So, I've been going through this little cook book I got from the baby clinic - the book is made by Kinderen - it's a monthly magazine for mothers and expecting mothers - and it's a great little book. see bol.com Here are just a few of the recipes I've tried: Pippi's pannenkoekentaart That was good - I gave it a 4 star **** - easy to make and everyone enjoyed it. Dessert for dinner is good anytime :) I put sliced apples in almost every pancake - which is why it leans so much. It was very filling - and very yummy. Up next: Een echt indiaantje Good 4 stars **** - another easy meal, presented in such a way that the kids got excited... Kailea, my 5 year old, is normally very picky about green food - she ate it up :) We served it with simple gravy. Ella - liked the patty, but tossed the sugar snaps aside - oh well, can't please everyone - but I try. Kailea poses for me. Dad's angry man... even big kids play with their food ! And..
Read more

The BEST REAL Peanut Butter Cookies

Image
Gooey in the middle and crispy on the outside, just the way a cookie should be! I discovered this recipe some years ago. I used to bake it nearly every month, that's how good it is. I've tried many, many peanut butter cookie recipes and this is the best by far! You don't really need to add chocolate chips... but I just happen to get a bag full of goodies from a lady who bought all these baking supplies - American style baking supplies - from the BX, and the stuff she didn't use up before she moved back to the U.S. - was gifted to me. So the best way to show my gratitude - was to use it up! There was a half open bag of white chocolate chips and a half open bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips... Did I mention... I love this recipe for peanut butter cookies and I threw in the chocolate chips as well. It was very yummy. This recipe is originally vegan believe it or not. You don't really need eggs in most baked goods anyway. But then I went and poured in all t
Read more

Baby Name: Kenobi (boy)

Image
So, I'm pregnant, I think I've already announced that somewhere... but anyway, it's a boy! My first one. I already have three girls. I thought for sure it would be another girl but then this pregnancy was very different. For one, I didn't have the same disdain for garlic and onions that I did with the other pregnancies... and two, I have more hair growing on my legs... it completely stopped growing for 9 months with the girls. That's a bonus to having girls... but the bonus for having a boy is I can still eat whatever I want and not feel sick. It's kind of a disadvantage though - because then I really have to monitor myself - so I don't get too fat. Why is choosing a baby name so difficult? Well, we've come up with quite a long list of names, the problem is - we don't agree on each other's name choices. My man loves one name, I love another. We even put up a poll on babynames.com to let all our friends and family and associates vote on the n
Read more